THE WRESTLING
ANGLE
By DAVID ROSENBERG
Many of us are wrestling fans are addicted to the sport
and will watch it for the rest of our lives.
There are also fans that like it so much that they think
about it all day and will even bring it up for no reason
whatsoever.
I have been a fan since 1979 and am one who is not going
to lose interest. My interest in wrestling in high school
was so big that I joined the wrestling team and was surprised
that it was different than the wrestling on television.
At one time in high school we even staged fake matches
before wrestling practice and by the time the coach arrived
we were almost too tired to do the actual required workout.
So today's topic is going to be based on the "you
know you're a (blank, blank) when you (blank, blank)."
This topic came to me this week when I thought about how
I sometimes drive down U.S. 1 in Ormond Beach, Fla., and
pass by the Kane's Furniture store and it makes me think
of the wrestler Kane.
I even watch the tropical update on The Weather Channel
and Shane Helms comes to mind.
When me and my little brother were kids I remember us
seeing bald guys and thinking they looked like George "The
Animal" Steele.
So in tribute to all us devoted fans out there, I have
compiled a list this week on this very subject. The following
is a list of reasons why you know you're a true wrestling
fan. A lot of them are my own personal choices. They can
be far-fetched, comical or downright true. So read on and
enjoy.
And if anyone has any to add I'd be glad to read them
and maybe even post some that I may have missed in next
week's column.
You know you're a wrestling fan when you drive past a
store with a wrestler's name and think of that wrestler
and laugh at yourself because you thought of that.
You know you're a wrestling fan when you sometimes rearrange
your work schedule around WWE pay-per-views.
You know you're a wrestling fan when you see wrestling
on the Spanish channel and still keep watching it even though
you don't know Spanish.
You know you're a wrestling fan when you now carry around
a spring water bottle just like Triple H does.
... when all or most of your VCR tapes have some wrestling
on them.
... when you owned WWF action figures in the '80s and
they weren't even advertised on television yet.
... when you have an old Hulkamania T-shirt in your drawer
that does not fit you anymore, but you keep it anyway.
You know you're a wrestling fan when you still have videos
from the WWF "Piledriver" album on old VCR tapes
from the '80s, but don't have the tapes labeled, but still
know what tapes they're on.
... you have MP3s of wrestlers' themes on your computer.
... you get choked up watching the Andre the Giant A&E
Biography.
... when you hear a Cyndi Lauper song on the radio and
think of the Rock -n- Wrestling Connection.
... you remember all or most of the characters that were
featured on the WWF cartoon show in the '80s.
... you'll sit in a smoke-filled room just to watch a
pay-per-view for free, even though you despise smoking.
You know you're a wrestling fan when you defended the
XFL to critics who panned it before it even got started.
... you still stick up for the XFL even though it folded
last year.
... you wish Gwyneth Paltrow was a WWE diva because you
know she'd do a good job.
... you create an e-mail address with some sort of wrestling
angle to it.
... Iran is in the news and it makes you think of the
Iron Sheik.
... the first time you heard the "Flock of Seagulls"
song "I Ran" it made you think of the Iron Sheik.
... . you're a diehard WWE fan, hated WCW, but wish the
Monday night wars still existed, even though you wished
WCW was extinct back then.
... you now and always will think of wrestling when you
hear the Kid Rock song "Lonely Road of Faith"
that was used for the Desire video.
... you hear "November Rain" and remember that
ECW used it during their old shows for promos.
... when old friends of yours look you up on classmates.com
and mention something about wrestling because they remember
you were a wrestling nut in high school.
... you see Keibler cookies at the supermarket and think
of Stacy Keibler.
... you got a rush when Mick Foley mentioned Tori Amos
in his book and you book-marked the page.
... you see a movie with David Arquette advertised, but
all you can remember about him is that Vince Russo once
did an angle that made him WCW champion.
... the first thing you think of when you hear the name
Steve Austin is the wrestler and not the Six Million Dollar
Man when in fact you saw every episode of that show in the
'70s.
... you remember that Ken Shamrock actually was better
on That '70s Show than The Rock.
... you know that "doing a job" doesn't just
mean going to work.
... hear the name "Godfather" and you think
of the wrestler, Charles Wright, who plays him first and
not the mob-movie series.
... See a 2X4 and it makes you think of Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
... the only reason why you watched the "Princess
Bride" was because Andre the Giant was in it.
... watched the movie "No Holds Barred," thought
it was horrible, but still continued watching it because
it was about wrestling.
... you once dressed as the Ultimate Warrior for an office
Halloween party. (I actually did it in 1991.)
And finally, you know you're a wrestling fan if you have
not seen Monday Night Football since RAW's debut in 1993.
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